My Side

I've been through a lot over the years, I mean, A LOT! A lot that has to do with friends ships...
But nothing quite like this. I mean, you all know that Jordyn and I have had our times but this is not just a time, and not just a phase, its a reality. A huge one at that.
I've always hated when my friends tell me I couldn't hang out with other people so Im not the kind of person who would react by treating other people the same way I hated. Maybe this has something to do with jealousy, but I can assure u not enough to have caused such a problem. Honestly, Im not sure what this is all about, I guess u'd have to ask those who dont see a problem. Does that make sense? Well, yeah,it does. Those people are the ones who are to self-centered to pay any mind to the problem. If u asked them, and they actually thought about it, and maybe even had some small bit of empathy for those affected, then maybe, just maybe, they could step outside their careless heads and admit the truth.
Everyone knows there are two sides to every story, well, in this case, 4. I'll broadcast mine. If the other 3 would like to, we'll let them.


Actually, Im just going to tell u how I feel. I feel like no one cares anymore. Like its not even worth it anymore. As if, nothing that we have ever been through matters. Apparently, for some stupid reason, I thought we'd always best best friends forever. I guess in the back of my mind, I always shrugged off the possibility that it wouldn't last. Now, its real. I understand it. I feel like Im not good enough for them, that they are too good for me. I feel left out of evrything and when I try to talk, its just noise, nothing I say is worth their time. Nothing. And one always comparesd me to the other. Obviously I'm not good enough for them. How could i ever be? I'm not as funny as them, not as pretty as them, not as smart as them, not as confident as them, not as friendly as them. Nope, I dont know why I never saw this. Im not good enough. They are just two perfect girls, fit perfect for eachother. They have both gone through me and pulled everything out, barried it under their feet and jumped on it, laughing. Yep, that is sooo it. Even after I put all my trust in both of them, worked so hard to patch things up and the glue just didn't hold. Its obvious, a blind man could see that those two are inseprable, just perfect. Still, I feel that spirit they are jumping on. As I'm writing this, the have laid out my throat and sat on it. If I spoke, I'd cry. Thats why Im writing. The two of them drag me through shit, and just when I think they are gonna let go of my hair, they grip tighter. One day, they will just drop, they'll get tired of pulling and they'll just let go. Well, when it happens, at least I can say I saw it coming...